It feels like so long since I was last here writing pieces for you all to read, probably because it has been so long. But friends, there are good reasons. Please allow me to explain.

Firstly, I’ve been taking up writing again and I’ve decided that I’m going to try and really push for what I want this year. Now, there are only two things that I’ve wanted ever since I was a small child. One, I wanted to be a stand up comedian. Two, to work in central government in a Whitehall department. Up until recently, I thought I would have to settle for the latter, but upon realisation that a transfer to a department there was very unlikely, I started to focus on the former.

I’ve always written material since I was small and I’ve only ever wanted to make people smile and laugh and all of the things that come with a sense of humour, so at the start of this year, I decided that I was going to act upon this. I got together with two friends of mine, John & Ryan (Twitter; @Beynonson & @RyanPlugs) and we decided to start writing a sitcom. For me, this was a perfect start to air some of my comedic writings and I’ve got to tell you, the fruits of the sitcom so far are abundant! We have produced a lot of good material, a good story and a few episodes are already written to boot! There’s plenty more to come as well as we’re almost half way through the series. It’s looking promising already! I have great hope that this will come to fruition.

So, whilst I have been working on that for the past few months, I have been fairly tied up for time for the rest of my intellectual works. But, last weekend, I did a thing on Twitter where I raised money for Comic Relief by increasing my followers. Basically, people would follow and retweet me, then when I reached my target number of followers, which was 250, I would donate £50. A decent sum, I think you’ll agree. I reached the target with ease, exceeding it in a few short hours and whilst doing so, I felt that I had lots to offer to help raise money for good causes. I decided to do the one thing that I’ve always wanted to do, but have always avoided as I have been far too scared and have had far too many reservations about doing; I decided that I would perform Stand Up comedy for the first time in a charity gig that would feature a friend and a few other local comedians.

Upon this realisation, my first thought was “None of my existing material is good enough, start all over again”, so that’s just what I did! I have completely wrote a set in under a week for this hastily arranged gig. I am going to do compere and open with a set, which, being first on the bill is always nerve-wracking. But, I am confident in the material I have written and in my ability to deliver it, if not entirely sure at first… So, I have enlisted the help of a good friend and aspiring Stand Up comedian, Mr Jonathan Gravelle and we have another comedian lined up so far, who goes by the name of Paul James. Things are looking good! The most important thing to remember, is that whilst fulfilling a boyhood dream for me, it is primarily about raising a good sum of money for Comic Relief. Which is something that I’m sure we can all agree upon as a worthy cause.

The event is at The Ferryman, Briton Ferry, Neath on Thursday. Stage time is nine o’clock. So please, if you can, make your way to event and prepare yourself for an evening of laughter and fundraising!

With the set written, and with four days left to learn it and practice delivery, this week sure will be one of nervous intensity!

Thanks for reading,

Callum

Double Bass lines rip through the darkened, smoky room, its low ceiling accumulating a foggy mist, making it look not too dissimilar to clouds. The dimmed lights seemingly make the thin wispy smoke thicker, as the light becomes trapped in its carcinogenic, deathly grips. As the smoke and the dim shining light entwine in their battle a rimshot sounds out, accompanied by the clink of ice cubes smashing against the walls of its glass prison like bumper cars at a fair, floating upon its merry-making spirit buoyant.

Happy New Year!

Callum

Firstly, I’ve opened a bottle of Savannah earlier with nothing but a table’s edge and a rather heavy blow from my closed fist. My hand is now throbbing.

Secondly (and more importantly), as I sit here typing this, my brother, John and our Scottish friend Haggis (AKA Andrew) are playing alcohol-influenced Jenga. Christmas is not normally something that I’m too fond of. It always brings back memories, some good, some bad from the past. But today, for the first time in years, Christmas feels right. Drinks and banter around the dinner table, pigs in blankets, and wee Haggis doing impressions of Trevor from Eastenders (see ‘you like gravy, don’t you Mo?’ on Youtube), coupled with all the family getting along, well, it really made for a great day.

So, to finish this short little blog post, I’d like to wish you all a very happy Christmas and a happy new year! I hope you’ve all had the best of days.

Merry Christmas!

Callum

I return home from work at nine o’clock this evening, feeling somewhat thoughtful amid the media furore that has erupted this past weekend concerning a dear friend, Sarah Baskerville. Sarah, like myself, is a civil servant working within the DfT, putting in maximum effort in every day. Although hers are far more important than mine, we both work to strict deadlines and often with a lack of resources available, attempting to deliver an efficient service that not only benefits the taxpayer’s pocket, but inspires confidence at the same time.

There are two things that I have always wanted to achieve since reaching my formative years. One; to become a stand up comedian. (I kid you not) Two; to work in the civil service. Especially in Whitehall. Although, I do recognise that that last part there I may have to forego, and probably the comedian part too! When I started working for the civil service I felt a sense of pride, and yes, belonging too. I felt like I was a part of something bigger, working to provide a service that was of benefit to the taxpayer and that ensured good governance and better public services for the masses. That pride I have always kept burning within me, the driving force that makes me do what I do, that makes me want to serve to the best of my ability. It’s never faded, and neither has my unswerving commitment to the task at hand.

Just before the elections this year, I attending a hustings in the Swansea West constituency. I listened to the political arguments of six or seven candidates, listening to their views. Some I agreed with, and others that I did not. After the hustings had finished, we were all offered teas and coffees, to which I accepted graciously. (I am a terrible stickler for a nice black coffee!) I put my coat on a nearby hook and slackened my tie, leaning back on an old door frame, taking a sip of my lovely coffee I surveyed the room and it’s occupants, taking in the views and opinions that each of their faces belied.

Five minutes passed before I was approached by a sixty-something gentleman with kind eyes and a smiling face. He introduced himself as a retired professor from nearby Swansea University in a tongue so eloquent and so richly upper middle class that it could not even begin to try to hide that he was from social standings far greater than my own. We both smiled and laughed as we chatted the breeze about the events of the hustings, before that all important question was asked. “What do you do for a living, my dear fellow?” said the professor in that rich, smooth tone of voice that calmed and inspired confidence and conversation in a man. My inevitable answer came as I mentally puffed out my chest and said these words; “I’m a civil servant, sir. I work under the Department for Transport umbrella.” Relaxing my smile and pride, I awaited the response from this kind eyed gentleman, who moments before, was very interested in what I had to offer to the conversation. The kind, smiling eyes turned to stone and the smile tightened, turning into a frown, his top lip taking on a stiffness that I’ve only seen from a botox injection. Silence prevailed for what was only two or three seconds, but two or three seconds that seemed to last an eternity as my mind saw the look upon the face and tried to rewind the conversation to see if I had said anything to offend the professor.

The professor’s next words were something that truly shocked me, and I was taken aback by them. “So you’re the enemy” he said coolly, that rich eloquent tone taking on something more sinister and determined. A slight momentary pause before I asked ‘I beg your pardon’. The Professor repeated coldly again. For the first time, I had been perceived as the enemy. This professor, who moments ago seemed a lovely chap had now wheeled upon me bearing down with a malice and contempt, so rarely seen and reserved for those whom one truly cannot abide. Not wishing to continue conversation, I put down my coffee and left. The whole journey home, I had been thinking about what had happened. I couldn’t even understand why someone would have such contempt for me, just because of my job title. Even worse, I wondered if this was a common view shared by many of the public, and if my pride in the job itself and not just the title, was misplaced. Although, I am pleased to tell you that it takes more than one disgruntled toff to remove the pride I have for what I do. ; )

Myself, like Sarah, have always tried to give one hundred per cent to everything I do. We both share a burning passion and commitment to the civil service, and to the taxpayer. And quite frankly, when I saw the Daily Mail article bullying Sarah, I felt a rage inside. For it was not just Sarah’s pride and integrity at stake, it was all of ours. We all work damn hard every day to deliver a first class public service in this country. You only have to look at other countries to see that we are head and shoulders above the rest. The civil service delivers, and so do it’s people on an individual level. And to see an article like that, well it almost made me question just what I do this for. I say ‘almost’ as I was suddenly grounded by a reminder in my mind of just what I strive for on a daily basis.

Articles like the Independent’s and the Daily Mail’s are nothing short of attempting to defame the character of the service and it’s hard working staff. Lazy and shambolic journalism do nothing to help motivate staff already under pressure and struggling to adapt to an ever changing outlook on the services their departments provide and the way they provide them. They only detract from them. I for one, was very impressed to see an article in the Guardian by Patrick Butler, sticking up for Sarah and civil servants just like her. It’s good to see that the British press still has some journalism with integrity and honesty.

Here’s to hoping that the storm blows over and that Sarah can continue delivering a first class service that the taxpayer values.

Thank you for reading,

Callum

Music tip; Orange Juice – Rip it Up

** Disclaimer – Any views, or opinions expressed herein are entirely of my own, and they are in no way endorsed by any government department or employee **

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1329321/Civil-servants-Twitter-Oh-stop-twit-Tweeting-someone.html

As I was heading to work at seven-thirty when I receive a message from Sarah (@Baskers) on Twitter, saying that she’s had a nasty article about her published by the Daily Mail. Immediately I got the BlackBerry out and started to find the root of her distress, which didn’t take long. So called ‘journalist’, Quentin Letts, wrote a rather personal and damaging article about her, in which he has the guile to insinuate that she does a terrible job and is a waste of taxpayers money.

I am proud to say that I am a friend of Sarah’s, and that she is an excellent example of the staff that the civil service employs. Sarah is extremely hard-working and the dedication that she has to her department is second to none. What I want to know, is when does someone tweeting in a personal capacity become news for a national paper? Letts has the front to say that Baskers is breaking the civil servant’s rules of impartiality with the line ‘Civil servants used to try to be impartial and discreet’. Baskers has always played by the rules. Her Twitter account, like mine, states that the views and opinions posted online are her own, and not the view of the department as a whole.

Sarah is a woman who likes to have a drink and let her hair down whenever she can. She works a particularly stressful job, which often is a thankless task and she has an unswerving commitment to her team and the integrity of her department. Letts seizes upon an earlier Twitter posting from her, saying that she’s feeling a tad hungover from the evening before as if it’s never happened to anyone else. I’d certainly be willing to bet that Mr Letts was lucky enough to have a university education, and during his time at university I’d also be willing to bet that he suffered more than one hangover. He then goes on to complain about an earlier posting stating that she was feeling tired and would rather be at home than be in the office. This is uncommon, how? I’m sure she’s rather sorry that she is an actual human being who has normal bodily function and not a robot.

This whole article really shows a journalist, so desperate for a story, that he’s willing to attempt to completely ruin someone’s career just for an article. One which isn’t even worthy of being called an article at that. It just shows the state that the British press are in today, if they have to manufacture something as rediculous as this.

Sunday

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/the-hounding-of-baskerville-2133666.html#disqus_thread

This morning, I awoke to see that the Independent have jumped on the bashing bandwagon too. Disgraceful! Following the lead of the Daily Mail is by no means original and independent journalism. It seems totally unacceptable and completely unjustified to me, that someone can be paid to spend a short while writing an ‘article’ that has the potential to bring down someone’s career (gained entirely through hard work and merit) by adding fuel to the fire. A fire I might add, started by someone with as much journalistic credibility as a sixteen year old ASBO holding arsonist scally.

What this all boils down to is freedom of speech. Sarah, being a passionately engaged public servant is also entitled to her opinions. But, alas, I forgot we were living in the past where if you spoke out you were punished. I find it funny that our government, both of past and present can campaign for Aung San Suu Kyi’s release so that she can continue being an advocate for freedom of speech, but if any civil servants question the government of the time, well, they’re in trouble. Sarah hasn’t directly questioned the government, nor has she criticised the new policies brought in. What Sarah has talked about are the difficulties facing her directly, and the way that she manages her her working life. Isn’t this normal? Don’t we all like to have a moan during the bad times, and celebration during the good?

I also find it rediculous that the media are allowed to say what they like, so long as there is a disclaimer involved, but when a civil servant has the disclaimer “All views posted here are my own, not the government department’s that I work for” they seem to skirt around it completely, also ignoring copyright on the user’s picture and taking the image. By the way, Sarah, I do hope you send them a bill for that.

As a fellow DfT umbrella employee, I do hope that the DfT officials realise that this is pure poppycock and do the right thing, which would be to keep hold of Sarah. She’s a valuable asset to the department and it would be a loss to the taxpayer to see her go.

I’ve had the pleasure to meet with Sarah on several occasions, and I’m extremely proud to call her a friend. Stay strong, mate!

P.S. I’m publicly sorry for being two hours late to our first ‘Tweetup’!

Tuesday

Tomorrow is Wednesday the twentieth of October, the day of the government’s spending review. Every cut to all government departments will be unveiled and the true cost of the cuts will be revealed. It’ll be a rather black day for an awful lot of civil servants. After today’s news of the cuts at the Ministry of Justice (courtesy of Channel 4 News – http://www.channel4.com/news/ministry-of-justice-to-axe-14-000-jobs), one certainly has to wonder about the scale of the job losses we are facing. These cuts will affect every department, every agency, every civil servant in the land.

Of course, one has to reserve an opinion and must always be seen to be impartial. So, I do hope that time will prove these cuts to be the right thing, and not the wrong decision. Only time will tell.

One thing is for sure, I will be glued to the news tomorrow.

Callum

Tuesday

Every Tuesday night, my brother and I go to visit our parents at their home for a spot of dinner. My mother looked a little worn out this evening, so I decided to take the load off her feet and offered to cook for the family. Something I haven’t done for what seems like an eternity!

Anyway, I decided that it would be something that was both quick to make, but also delicious and something that would not disappoint the palate. So, I settled upon a pasta and meatball bake. Here’s a photo of the finished dish:

And here’s one of me just taking it out of the oven!

Bloomin’ marvellous!

Callum

Well, it seems that Pastor Terry Jones and his congregation have decided to cancel the proposed Koran burning events that they had planned for this weekend’s anniversary of nine eleven. Thank goodness!

Callum

“We must send a clear message to the radical element of Islam”

Pastor Terry Jones

Pastor Terry Jones, of the Dove World Outreach Center, plans to burn copies of the Islamic holy book in a bonfire en masse this week to mark the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. In response, Muslims in Kabul have already begun protests with chants heard to the tune of ‘death to America’. The pastor has it all completely wrong, in a way that is pig-headed and naive and which we see demonstrated quite often by some Americans. The pastor says he wants to send a clear message to the radical element of Islam. Well, fine. But, what you are doing, Pastor, is burning the holy book which is sacred to everyone of Islamic faith. Not only do you risk turning pro-western Muslims against the coalition, but against the peoples of West itself. People of the Islamic faith the world over will view it as an attack on Islam itself, not on the just the radical elements. By doing something as stupid and wrong as burning the book, you risk uniting mainstream Islam with the more radical elements. If you attack the faith of a people, you attack the people as a whole. Whereas before they did not have a common enemy, they will if you proceed with this act.

“It could endanger troops and it could endanger the overall effort. It is precisely the kind of action the Taliban uses and could cause significant problems. Not just here, but everywhere in the world, we are engaged with the Islamic community,”

General David Petraeus, commander of coalition forces in Afghanistan hitting it straight on the money there. An act of this kind will cause problems not just on the front lines in Muslim countries, but on the home front too. If you attack a religion as a whole, then followers of that religion will respond. We will have increased risk of terrorism, and it will only serve as propaganda for the Taliban which they will use to attract even more Muslims to their cause. The Taliban and Al-Qaeda will claim that the West is not fighting for democracy, but in a war with Islam itself, turning it into a Holy War. The more radical elements will then try to use this to launch a Jihad, with an act of this kind radicalising young Muslims the world over, which will increase the number going over to fight the coalition troops trying to bring stability to the region. This would be a catastrophe, which will lead to more loss of life and maybe even overturning some of our many gains in the campaign so far.

9/11, As terrible as it was, was not committed by people representing Islam as a whole. Al-Qaeda are terrorists with distorted views of the Koran which are not shared by the vast majority of Muslims. They do not speak for all of the Islamic faith and it is important to remember that. If the Pastor and his congregation commit to this act, then it makes them just as extremist as the terrorists that preach their hatred. We all remember what we were doing on that fateful day. We all remember the loss of life, the hurt, and grief suffered by thousands of family the world over. It is something that I would never wish to see happen again.

What the coalition of countries should be doing, is working with pro-Western Muslim states, on a solution on how to win people’s hearts and minds. I know it sounds such a cliche, but the only way we can ever win in Afghanistan is if we win the support of the people, and get the people as a whole to want to drive out the insurgents. Otherwise, we can never leave. If the people are aiding the Taliban, there will be no way to win. If they do not want us there, and want the Taliban to stay, then unless we leave and create a terrorist breeding ground, we can never pull out for fear of allowing free space for the Taliban and Al-Qaeda to operate.

States such as Turkey, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, etc, are all key allies which we need to retain in order to help us in the fight against radical Islam.

The main problem, in my opinion, that the Western Coalition faces, is the fact that for many Islamic states, we are seen to be far too pro-Israel at times. With no compromise by the Israeli government, and at times, our far too eager willingness to back them has alienated some of these Islamic states. And, with tensions as high as they’ve been for a long time between Israel and Palestine, there is no love lost for Israel and it’s Western allies. Quite frankly, we need to deny Israel support if we believe what they are doing is wrong at times. For example, the blockade on Gaza is in my opinion far too strict. Materials that people desperately need in order to live, such as food and medicines and basic materials to construct shelter, are quite simply not getting through, and the West certainly condemned Israeli action on the Turkish flotilla that tried to break through to deliver supplies recently.

We need to make greater efforts and put more focus on the Middle-Eastern peace process, and Israel needs to show more flexibility, otherwise we will never have peace. Reconciliation is the key, but, the question is how do you achieve it? There have been a mass of grievances on both sides, and a lot of that will not be forgotten for a long time. So, I wonder just how will peace be achieved, and if so, will it be in our time?

I sincerely hope that the Pastor and his congregation have a rethink of their plans, or that the US government intervenes, as I worry for the terrible backlash that will happen if this action is carried out.

Thank you for reading.

Callum

This past weekend, I undertook what was one of my somewhat regular pilgrimages to London for a Tweetup with Sarah and Liz, and who ever else was around at the time who quite fancied something alcoholic to drink. Setting off from Neath station at twenty to eleven, I was to embark upon my journey to see friends and whatever else the big smoke had to throw at me. Deciding that I was worth it, I upgraded to first class and immediately developed an appreciation for air conditioning, which, considering that the train was packed full of Chelsea fans heading to the first game of the season, was an absolute necessity.

Here’s a short video that I took on my BlackBerry mobile phone, appreciating the beautiful countryside of the South East.

The accompanying music is called ‘The Kiss’ by Dickon Hinchcliffe, taken from the ‘Last Chance Harvey’ soundtrack album. Excellent film, excellent soundtrack.

Arriving into London, I made my way through the Underground with my trusty Oyster card to hand to the South Bank, where I was to meet with Claire for cocktails and a late lunch. An excellent time was had, and I thoroughly enjoyed! A mutual appreciation for Pimms is an ingredient for any relationship for anyone, be it friendships or other wise! After dinner, we went for a leisurely stroll along the Embankment and made our way towards the Houses of Parliament and Westminster Abbey which I thoroughly enjoyed, especially seeing as every time I go to London, I’ve never actually walked around that area before…. See, I can’t be that much of a tourist, otherwise I would have been there already!

After parting ways with Claire, I travelled to Stoke Newington to meet up with the ever charming and lovely Sarah (@Baskers on Twitter, I recommend you follow her!) for a few drinks and a catch up on all things central government and much more. Navigating the Underground with ease, I made my way to Kings Cross station where I would have to transfer to a bus as N16 doesn’t have any Underground links, but upon arrival decided that I couldn’t be bothered for the hassle and hopped into a taxi instead, which was to then ferry me to The Jolly Butchers pub on Stokey high street where I was to settle into a pint or two of the establishments finest cider. Ladies and gentlemen, I highly recommend this pub to you if you ever find yourself in N16 and a tad thirsty. A lovely design, atmosphere, staff and most importantly, drinks. A little while later, we made our way to an Irish bar just a little up the road, but equally as charming, before heading to Rasa, a purely vegetarian curry house… Stop. Now, I know what you’re thinking and I certainly am guilty of possessing the same thoughts when the same words were uttered to me by Sarah, but it isn’t as bad as it sounds.

Rasa, although pink in it’s interior and exterior was a small place but seemed to be full of people who all were enjoying the vegetarian experience on offer. I, myself, am predominantly a meat eater and I could never be vegetarian as I enjoy meat too much! Sarah, much alike me, assured me that it was about letting go and trying new things, to which after much grumbling and moaning, I finally succumbed and gave in to. I had no control over the menu whatsoever and took a very much back seat role in the ordering process, trusting her judgement and culinary reputation, to which I was duly rewarded.

We dined upon a selection of crispy dipping snacks, lemon rice, tomato and onion curry, spinach and indian cheese, and a third which I can’t quite remember, which suddenly lets me know that this isn’t one of my more thorough of blogs. It’s safe to say that the food was delicious, although I wasn’t keen on the spinach and cheese dish… Yuck! We were the last people to leave Rasa, at eleven thirty where we said our goodbyes and I caught a taxi back to Kings Cross where I was staying in a Travelodge. Upon arrival, they told me that I had booked in for the next night and not the Saturday as I’d requested. I specifically remember booking the fourteenth on Sarah’s iPhone and tried to get them to simply transfer the booking so I could get a decent night’s sleep. The two staff were extremely unhelpful and made me use the computers in the corner (which I had to pay £2 to use) to cancel the booking, which was supposed to be £86, and then I’d be charged a walk in fee of £110 which I felt was absolutely scandalous! But, with nowhere else to go, I had to bow to their terms and accept defeat at that time… I assure you, I will be complaining. After fifty minutes of negotiation and trying to spell my name and address for the night staff, I was finally in my room. Sleep.

The next morning, I awoke and showered to get ready to meet Claire again for breakfast in Covent Garden. I checked out of my hotel somewhat hastily and made my way back towards Kings Cross station where I would get back on the Underground to meet with Claire for a breakfast that she had hyped up… Anticipation was high! Time scales became a little distorted and breakfast quickly turned into lunch, so we nipped into a little French cafe for coffee’s and a cheese and ham platter for two which was delicious! I have a new found appreciation for Gruyere and Gouda! After lunch, we went for a little nose around the market and shops, and ended up watching a show performed by some street magicians before parting ways at Covent Garden tube station as I headed back to Paddington, homeward bound.

Three and a half hours later, and I was home in Neath. Stepping onto the platform, I walked out into the station concourse and out of the main entrance where I stood still for a moment, looking around myself, almost trying to visually tell my body that I was home. From across the road, outside the Big Cam pub, there came the sounds of shouting and fighting as a scuffle erupted. There was no mistaking it, I was home, and home was somewhere that I did not want to be.

Overall, a lovely weekend was had and it was so nice to see the faces of friends old and new. It’s a shame that Liz couldn’t make it due to sickness, but I do hope to meet her soon! So Liz, if you read this, get well soon! Thank you all for a lovely time, I’ll see you before the Fashion Weekend I’m sure!

Thanks for reading,

Callum